Jul. 6th, 2010

arathreel: (Default)
I keep looking at the scale and am rather shocked and dismayed that I am back up to between 160-165. And more so than that, I was hoping to be back into my size 8's by the fall. Now, my goal is still to hit 150 by Johann's first birthday, but I'm going about it differently now.

It is just a number. I have to keep remembering that. It is just a number.

The thing is, I want to be healthier. I want to be able to chase my child around when he starts being able to crawl and run and, at this moment, I know I can't. I've been dormant too long, and yes, a lot of it is to blame on a stagnant baby. But he's starting to move, now. He's so close to crawling (in the dictionary definition sense) and is able to groove about on the floor fairly well. Still not quick enough for me to need to chase him around, but mobile is mobile and I'm not about to knock it. I'm sure he will be crawling like crazy come Pennsic and not want to be stuck in one place just like me.

So that is part of it. I want to be healthier. And muscle weights more than fat, so I can't expect to see a huge drop in numbers knowing that lately I have been doing sit ups and jack knifes and planks and lunges and all kinds of strengthening activities for endurance purposes. It is... just a number. Just because it says 165 doesn't mean that I'm over weight, even if technically, according to BMI, I am. In fact, overweight to the near point of being obese. But that is neither here nor there. It is just a number.

The important thing is that I have the endurance, am healthier and, in all honesty, like the body I'm in. Right now, the only thing I don't like is that baby flab. Hence my doing a lot of things to strengthen my abs in hopes of reducing some of the fat, and even more so, getting back my muscles that held in my innards and such. The rest of me I can't really complain about. Yes, things stretched and shifted and will most likely never go back to normal after having a baby. My rib cage, for example, and my hips. But I don't mind that I have to wear larger sizes. There is no reason that the only kind of attractive woman needs to wear a size 2. Again, it is just a number, just like weight. There is no reason I should consider myself 'fat'. Many people find me attractive. Just because a woman wears a size large doesn't not mean she is any less wonderful than a woman wearing a size small.

The key component to being happy with who you are is having a body that is healthy. And most likely, when it is healthy, you also like how it looks. Sometimes you just have to work at it.

I wanted to write all this down... not because I want some of my larger friends to say 'you bitch, stop thinking you are overweight at 170' or even to make anyone self conscious. What I really want, what my real purpose is... is for you all to know that I care about your health too. Numbers are just numbers. They don't mean much. But I do want all of my friends to be healthy. I want you all to live good happy lives and be able to be a part of my life and Johann's life for a good many years to come.

And so, I will ask what I want people to ask me daily to help motivate me in hopes of motivating all of you.

What have you done today to keep your body healthy?

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Arathreel

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