Changes

Dec. 29th, 2008 12:52 pm
arathreel: (Default)
These are things I would like to try and do this next coming year.

I want to start doing a 15-20 minute stream of consciousness writing exercise daily. I am really curious how long I can keep it up for and I'm wondering if it will reveal anything exciting about me. My hope is to post them all here on LJ and keep them public. I really want to try and decrease my worry of how others think about me and feel this might help.

I want to do 15 minutes of my DDR workout daily. Again, I want to see how long I can keep it up and, honestly, what is 15 minutes of my day? That's, like, nothing. I understand there will be days I can't do it, such as if I am at an SCA event, so I will have to either do half an hour as make-up, or I have to do 15 minutes of very vigorous walking. Again, I would like to log my progress. The reason for this one is the fact that I feel like I have no time for anything. If I am able to do this 15mintue exercise along with the writing one, this is half an hour that right now I might be wasting. I could easily prove to myself that I have, at least, a half an hour every day that I am able to do my hobbies if I stop wasting my time.

These are simple fun little goals that need little to no interaction with other people. And I always like one really big goal and then one that is much more interactive. So here will be my big goal and my interactive goal:

Live each day like it is my last. I am honestly going to pretend as if, when I go to bed, I will never wake again. I want to live each day as if I never will have another. It will force me to take more of the opportunities in front of me, face more danger, and in general, really help me realize everything I have. I feel like I don't take things for granted, but I also want to make absolutely certain I don't. So starting January 1st, each day will be the last day of my life. I want to do it all, see it all, and tell everyone what they mean to me daily. I don't think people realize how much they mean to me, what they have done for me in my life. I am hoping this will also help with some little things, like making amends with my father. But most importantly, I think that by doing this, it will make my life much more adventurous. I wont keep taking the safe route of staying home. There are so many people out there that have been given so little time, and I think of the lists they made and how it is more important to live than to just survive. I want to feel like that. I want to feel the joy in living again. The great thing about doing this, though, is that it will make me care a lot less about how people feel about me. Let them feel as they will. They can't rain on my parade because life is too short to sit in a slump because someone doesn't like you.

And my last change for the new year is: I want to talk to strangers more. On the bus, waiting in line, checking out at a register. I'm going to ask them how they are doing, what their plans are for the summer, where they get their hair cut, if they have any children. In the job I work, it will be easy because I am always meeting strangers. And I have learned in the past that just having someone to speak to, even if only for a moment, can really make someone's day. I want to help spread smiles on more faces. So my goal is to make at least one friend from a stranger.
arathreel: (Default)
Every year around New Year's I begin to reflect on my life and on the past year. I stopped doing new years resolutions, as most people always break them and they usually aren't very much fun to do. It is either how you live, or it isn't. And that gave me the idea that every year I would try living my life in a different way. Every year I would choose some fun aspect or different aspect of my life that I wouldn't mind twisting or turning in some manner and live for one year like that just to see what would happen. One year I decided to stop listening to what society told me was right and wrong and to find out if I thought it was right or wrong on my own. Another year I decided that I would smile at every person I met. I think a lot of people thoughts I was creepy that year. There was a year I decided to cut out/ignore anything that made me miserable. That year was a year of revelations. But in general, it is always something large and then a few smaller aspects of things. I suppose, in a way, it is a new years resolution in a much larger scale. I'm not so much on the 'I plan to be healthier this year' or 'I plan to get my dream job this year' kind of resolutions. They are more of a 'hey, I've always lived life like this, but what if I try this?'

This is where you all come in. I could use for you to all be brutally honest with me, for better or for worse. Tell me exactly what you think of me, who I am, what I stand for, what I live for. Be as honest as you can and please don't worry about hurt feelings. This small survey will help me decide what I plan on doing this year. Maybe it will be something outrageous. Maybe it will just be something small and unnoticeable. Maybe I will choose a plethora of things. But I need to start with this step and swallow this first. This is the beginning of something beautiful. I believe so strongly in honesty and really allow my life to revolve around it. But I've never been good with criticisms. I need to be better. So please. Brutally honest. Even if all you say is 'you are awesome but could use more deodorant' I will laugh but it will be a step in the right direction.

I thank everyone that participates in advance.

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Arathreel

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