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Aug. 11th, 2004
School, family, work, and vacation
Aug. 11th, 2004 06:59 pmI wanted to try and make a decent update for those of you who are actually trying to keep up on my life.
Lets see. This Friday is my last day of work. I'm taking some time off for a few different reasons. One of which is my need to not be working at a stressful job before heading off to a, more than likely, stressful college. I'll give myself an ulcer doing something like that. So I'm certain everyone would agree taking some time off would be good. That and, well, besides packing and getting things together and ready for college, most/some of which I hope doing tomorrow just so I don't have to do it all on my two weeks of vacation, IPT calls. Okay, not exactly IPT, but Ethan gets home this Friday as well. Yes. I'm excited.
Work has not been well lately. People have gotten petty and nit picky and the poor guys, they just aren't getting the programming they should be getting. I feel awful about that. I feel like even I haven't been smiling as much at work. I just can't muster the strength half the time with how abused I'm feeling as a substitute knowing they are just pushing me to do all the work. I wouldn't mind if they were interacting with their consumers, but they just sit on their ass and talk to each other. No. I shouldn't say that. Not everyone is like that. No. But I am glad Friday is my last day. I will miss the guys, all of them. I will miss very few staff. Very few. The rest? Good riddance. They are working there because it is money, not because they want to make a difference in someone's life. And that isn't fair to these guys. Why do they deserve to be put at a table all day staring at a wall while staff do crossword puzzles? I'm just not please. I'm not happy about it. And I just don't feel like seeing this at all anymore. *sighs*
Looking at the college more, I realized that it was a full year school. So I will be gone, most literally, for two years fully from the region. And when I have my two weeks off here and there, I'm going to want to work to get money for rent and jenk. So I probably wont be coming up here much, which I like the idea of. It really eases family turmoil with me not being here. In two years I'll come back, a degree richer and all the better for getting away from the pettiness of the family. So a year school sounds neat. It literally goes from August to August. There are two semesters per year, each consists of six months. I have about a two week break in each half of the semester where I can come up, or I could stay down there and work. It all really depends on what happens and how things are going and, well, who's gonna pay me more. =P
So, yeah, there has been a lot of family turmoil. Another reason I'm glad I'm taking a bit (two weeks) vacation away from the family. That, as well, should help to ease the stress and tension and other issues that I seem to be having day after day being anywhere around the family. The grandmother seems to have something out against me. I am not quite certain if hate is too strong a word or not, but even my little brother has noticed how cruel she has been to me as of late.
I feel like I've been learning a lot in Linux the more I've really sat down to use it. And I've realized I have to stop being such a twit and there is -nothing- wrong with reading the manual. And you know what? I'm actually seriously thinking about learning Python just to further my understanding of how things work. I like to know how things work. So who knows? I might be another one of those sexy hot females that use Linux to program in the near future. But more than that, I'm going to be a med student. And that might not be sexy and it might not be as hot as rubbing yourself up while staring at the kernel, but it is what I want to do.
I've been doubting myself a lot recently. The whole college thing. The idea of being a vet tech. Everything. It is something I'm having a very hard time putting faith in myself and saying 'I -can- do this'. I guess it is true. If you listen to everyone telling you you can't do it, you won't be able to. But if you listen to just that one voice cheering you on, you can do anything. When you listen to others telling you you will fail, you eventually begin to believe them and give up before you even have a chance to try. I'm having a problem not listening to everyone telling me I wont make it though. I need to get 100% behind myself again and stop doubting so much. It isn't healthy. I have to have faith in who I am and what I can accomplish. And when I manage that, I will be able to accomplish anything. So bear with me, people, it's just been a bit difficult here and there. And so I'm sure in the next two weeks, those who talk to me, I will be stressing so hard core about leaving at the end of the month for school and how I will be able to manage, I will have my good days and bad. There will be days I will seem like I've given up and days I will seem like nothing in the world can stop me. Help me be strong. I know I can do it if I give it my all, my best shot. Don't let me give up.
I guess that is al to catch up on. At least, I can't think of much anything else to yammer on about at the moment.
Two more days...
Lets see. This Friday is my last day of work. I'm taking some time off for a few different reasons. One of which is my need to not be working at a stressful job before heading off to a, more than likely, stressful college. I'll give myself an ulcer doing something like that. So I'm certain everyone would agree taking some time off would be good. That and, well, besides packing and getting things together and ready for college, most/some of which I hope doing tomorrow just so I don't have to do it all on my two weeks of vacation, IPT calls. Okay, not exactly IPT, but Ethan gets home this Friday as well. Yes. I'm excited.
Work has not been well lately. People have gotten petty and nit picky and the poor guys, they just aren't getting the programming they should be getting. I feel awful about that. I feel like even I haven't been smiling as much at work. I just can't muster the strength half the time with how abused I'm feeling as a substitute knowing they are just pushing me to do all the work. I wouldn't mind if they were interacting with their consumers, but they just sit on their ass and talk to each other. No. I shouldn't say that. Not everyone is like that. No. But I am glad Friday is my last day. I will miss the guys, all of them. I will miss very few staff. Very few. The rest? Good riddance. They are working there because it is money, not because they want to make a difference in someone's life. And that isn't fair to these guys. Why do they deserve to be put at a table all day staring at a wall while staff do crossword puzzles? I'm just not please. I'm not happy about it. And I just don't feel like seeing this at all anymore. *sighs*
Looking at the college more, I realized that it was a full year school. So I will be gone, most literally, for two years fully from the region. And when I have my two weeks off here and there, I'm going to want to work to get money for rent and jenk. So I probably wont be coming up here much, which I like the idea of. It really eases family turmoil with me not being here. In two years I'll come back, a degree richer and all the better for getting away from the pettiness of the family. So a year school sounds neat. It literally goes from August to August. There are two semesters per year, each consists of six months. I have about a two week break in each half of the semester where I can come up, or I could stay down there and work. It all really depends on what happens and how things are going and, well, who's gonna pay me more. =P
So, yeah, there has been a lot of family turmoil. Another reason I'm glad I'm taking a bit (two weeks) vacation away from the family. That, as well, should help to ease the stress and tension and other issues that I seem to be having day after day being anywhere around the family. The grandmother seems to have something out against me. I am not quite certain if hate is too strong a word or not, but even my little brother has noticed how cruel she has been to me as of late.
I feel like I've been learning a lot in Linux the more I've really sat down to use it. And I've realized I have to stop being such a twit and there is -nothing- wrong with reading the manual. And you know what? I'm actually seriously thinking about learning Python just to further my understanding of how things work. I like to know how things work. So who knows? I might be another one of those sexy hot females that use Linux to program in the near future. But more than that, I'm going to be a med student. And that might not be sexy and it might not be as hot as rubbing yourself up while staring at the kernel, but it is what I want to do.
I've been doubting myself a lot recently. The whole college thing. The idea of being a vet tech. Everything. It is something I'm having a very hard time putting faith in myself and saying 'I -can- do this'. I guess it is true. If you listen to everyone telling you you can't do it, you won't be able to. But if you listen to just that one voice cheering you on, you can do anything. When you listen to others telling you you will fail, you eventually begin to believe them and give up before you even have a chance to try. I'm having a problem not listening to everyone telling me I wont make it though. I need to get 100% behind myself again and stop doubting so much. It isn't healthy. I have to have faith in who I am and what I can accomplish. And when I manage that, I will be able to accomplish anything. So bear with me, people, it's just been a bit difficult here and there. And so I'm sure in the next two weeks, those who talk to me, I will be stressing so hard core about leaving at the end of the month for school and how I will be able to manage, I will have my good days and bad. There will be days I will seem like I've given up and days I will seem like nothing in the world can stop me. Help me be strong. I know I can do it if I give it my all, my best shot. Don't let me give up.
I guess that is al to catch up on. At least, I can't think of much anything else to yammer on about at the moment.
Two more days...
