Writing exercise #12: 15 minutes
Jan. 12th, 2009 05:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
arathreelFinding a house is rather difficult. I never really realized how difficult it would be to find just the right house for me. I look at the places other people live and think, man, this is awesome. But I can't find something like that. Every time I pick out a house to look at, it is a complete dud. I haven't given up, but I am going to let Chris pick for a little while some houses he would like to look at. Perhaps he has a better eye for the advertisement and can see more easily when the ad says 'there is no chance in hell'.
I don't think I'm asking for too much. I know what I want, more or less. Or at least things that if these things were there I know I would be happy. Like, I want land. I want land I can do things with, maybe put up a little barn, things of that nature. But, instead, in this area, you are lucky to get 0.1 acres of land. Everything is over developed and I feel like there is no privacy anymore. But along with the land, I also don't want to be out in the middle of nowhere. That would really piss me off, not being able to have friends over, not being able to get to places, not being able to go to the store if I run out of something and still be home within a reasonable amount of time. I wouldn't think it would be hard to have both. Land, space, but also close to things. I just like my privacy. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
But there are also aspects about the house that is really important to me. I want to make sure it has a nice living room. I want to make sure the kitchen is spacious enough for two people to work at the same time making a meal. I want for the kitchen to have enough cabinet space that we don't have to stick things all over the place like crazy not being sure what to do with it. I don't like how things are on top of cabinets or stacked in other rooms because the kitchen just doesn't have the space it should. I also want a really nice large main bathroom. Big enough that I'm not afraid I'm going to smack my legs into the cabinet or the bath when I'm half awake at night and need to get to the toilet.
I would love a finished basement just so I have two nice areas. One for gaming, one for the tv and a more family room aspect of it. Three would be even better since when Chris and I have kids, I want to have a place for their toys.
Speaking of kids, I have an OBGYN appointment on Friday and I'm scared. I'm scared they are going to tell me that I am unable to have children. I feel it is a valid fear, and one I wish I didn't have. But those that know me and what I've been through would know that... this is just something I have to deal with, sadly. But I am scared. And then what would we do? Do we adopt? Get a surrogate? How would we handle it? Would we just keep trying? I am not so sure how I feel about it.
But on the other hand, there is a possibility that they will say "silly woman, you are pregnant!" And, well, that would make my day. I know, in a way, Chris and I wanted to wait about 2 years before having kids, but the more we talked about it, the more we realized that we really wanted to share our home and love with children. So we want to try for kids, but we wont be sad if it takes us a year or two to have them. But we don't want to wait too long because we want to be able to keep up with them. And we ain't gettin' any younger.
I'm cold. I don't know why Chris keeps the temperature so low in here, but it makes me ever so cold. So I'm sitting here, curled in my blanket, hoping to warm up soon.
I like people. I like people watching. I want to be able to sit on my porch and wave to people as they walk by. I want to be able to smile more often. When did I stop smiling so much? What is it that weighs so heavy on my heart that I don't seem to smile as much any more. Or maybe it isn't that I'm not smiling, and more that I'm just neutral. Which could be a particular possibility.
I realized doing these exercises, that if I did this same times typing during NaNoWriMo, that I could easily make 50,000 words. Wouldn't that be awesome? If in November, instead of stream of consciousness, I was slowly typing an entire novel? It would be entertaining and maybe bring more people to my journal. Not that I don't think my journal doesn't already have enough visitors. I kind of like sharing my life with people. And some day, I will go through all my old entries and tag them and show them to everyone that wants to see them. I have a lot of interesting poetry and various other things in my journals. It is kind of nice, really, being able to look back and see how much I've changed. At least, I feel I've changed a lot. I'm not saying I'm a better person, just a different person. Better in some ways and the same in others.
Why does my cat lick plastic!? She is going to end up with a foreign body and make me really sad because she will need surgery. It really upsets me sometimes. And I'm not sure if that is why or just because it is really loud and I want her to stop.
I want to spin more wool. The problem is, I keep spinning it and then do nothing with it. And I really don't have any excuse for it, but it is what keeps happening. I spin it because it is relaxing and fun and I feel like it is something I am good at. But then I ply it and I'm sitting here with tons of yarn and I don't knit that much or that fast.
GODDAMNIT LEXI STOP LICKING PLASTIC!!
Okay. That was obnoxious. It really bothers me when she does it.
I don't think I'm asking for too much. I know what I want, more or less. Or at least things that if these things were there I know I would be happy. Like, I want land. I want land I can do things with, maybe put up a little barn, things of that nature. But, instead, in this area, you are lucky to get 0.1 acres of land. Everything is over developed and I feel like there is no privacy anymore. But along with the land, I also don't want to be out in the middle of nowhere. That would really piss me off, not being able to have friends over, not being able to get to places, not being able to go to the store if I run out of something and still be home within a reasonable amount of time. I wouldn't think it would be hard to have both. Land, space, but also close to things. I just like my privacy. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
But there are also aspects about the house that is really important to me. I want to make sure it has a nice living room. I want to make sure the kitchen is spacious enough for two people to work at the same time making a meal. I want for the kitchen to have enough cabinet space that we don't have to stick things all over the place like crazy not being sure what to do with it. I don't like how things are on top of cabinets or stacked in other rooms because the kitchen just doesn't have the space it should. I also want a really nice large main bathroom. Big enough that I'm not afraid I'm going to smack my legs into the cabinet or the bath when I'm half awake at night and need to get to the toilet.
I would love a finished basement just so I have two nice areas. One for gaming, one for the tv and a more family room aspect of it. Three would be even better since when Chris and I have kids, I want to have a place for their toys.
Speaking of kids, I have an OBGYN appointment on Friday and I'm scared. I'm scared they are going to tell me that I am unable to have children. I feel it is a valid fear, and one I wish I didn't have. But those that know me and what I've been through would know that... this is just something I have to deal with, sadly. But I am scared. And then what would we do? Do we adopt? Get a surrogate? How would we handle it? Would we just keep trying? I am not so sure how I feel about it.
But on the other hand, there is a possibility that they will say "silly woman, you are pregnant!" And, well, that would make my day. I know, in a way, Chris and I wanted to wait about 2 years before having kids, but the more we talked about it, the more we realized that we really wanted to share our home and love with children. So we want to try for kids, but we wont be sad if it takes us a year or two to have them. But we don't want to wait too long because we want to be able to keep up with them. And we ain't gettin' any younger.
I'm cold. I don't know why Chris keeps the temperature so low in here, but it makes me ever so cold. So I'm sitting here, curled in my blanket, hoping to warm up soon.
I like people. I like people watching. I want to be able to sit on my porch and wave to people as they walk by. I want to be able to smile more often. When did I stop smiling so much? What is it that weighs so heavy on my heart that I don't seem to smile as much any more. Or maybe it isn't that I'm not smiling, and more that I'm just neutral. Which could be a particular possibility.
I realized doing these exercises, that if I did this same times typing during NaNoWriMo, that I could easily make 50,000 words. Wouldn't that be awesome? If in November, instead of stream of consciousness, I was slowly typing an entire novel? It would be entertaining and maybe bring more people to my journal. Not that I don't think my journal doesn't already have enough visitors. I kind of like sharing my life with people. And some day, I will go through all my old entries and tag them and show them to everyone that wants to see them. I have a lot of interesting poetry and various other things in my journals. It is kind of nice, really, being able to look back and see how much I've changed. At least, I feel I've changed a lot. I'm not saying I'm a better person, just a different person. Better in some ways and the same in others.
Why does my cat lick plastic!? She is going to end up with a foreign body and make me really sad because she will need surgery. It really upsets me sometimes. And I'm not sure if that is why or just because it is really loud and I want her to stop.
I want to spin more wool. The problem is, I keep spinning it and then do nothing with it. And I really don't have any excuse for it, but it is what keeps happening. I spin it because it is relaxing and fun and I feel like it is something I am good at. But then I ply it and I'm sitting here with tons of yarn and I don't knit that much or that fast.
GODDAMNIT LEXI STOP LICKING PLASTIC!!
Okay. That was obnoxious. It really bothers me when she does it.
